So when I set off on this blog journey back in January I decided to start with a "30 day photo challenge" which seemed like an Awesome idea at the time and then LIFE happened!
Out of the 30 days I completed 11, not even half of the challenge!
So the lesson learned is: Know Your Limits
The handful of times that I actually had the opportunity to sit down and blog
I have enjoyed it but I definitely placed unrealistic expectations on myself to find the time to blog
Everyday. One of my favorite bloggers is also a stay at home Mom with 2 little boys, she is super cute & crafty and blogs Everyday which is very impressive, so I thought "hey if she can do it so can I"
W R O N G
This brings me back to a lesson I have to learn and continue to re-learn on a daily basis
Stop trying to be someone I'm not
This concept has been a bit of a struggle for me over the past 3 years, basically ever since I made the transition from working full time to being a stay at home Mom. I admit most of it comes from my
own insecurities. When I was working, I knew my Job, I was trained in my field & I had a certain amount of control over things. But once I entered Motherhood I felt like all my confidence flew out the window! I am of the opinion that no matter how many "what to expect when expecting" type books
you read, there are certain things you just have to figure out for your own and the only way you're
going to survive is to cut yourself some slack.
There will be days when you want to pull your hair out but that doesn't mean you don't love your children. There will be days when you leave the dishes in the sink and choose to sit on the couch & days when you can't possibly get it together and the idea of cooking dinner is overwhelming so you pop a frozen pizza in the oven instead, that doesn't make you a bad housekeeper. Now I'm not saying it okay to constantly slack off on your responsibilities. I'm just saying that its okay to just BE sometimes instead of constantly chasing after impossible expectations you've set for yourself, remember what's important.
I have recently come to the realization that all my running around trying to make everything perfect was robbing me of some precious time with my family. I had to stop and ask myself, "Kim what is more important right now doing the dishes or stopping and actively listening to what Beckham is trying to tell me?" Becks is a talker, in-fact at times Eric & I feel like he hasn't stopped talking all day! Unfortunately with the constant noise I found myself tuning it all out and missing out on some excellent opportunities to get to know my little boy by listening to what he has to say. I was constantly feeling like "I don't have time for this" But I had to stop and ask myself "who says?"
Who says right now I have to wash the dishes or fold the laundry, or check my facebook (ouch)
I had to evaluate my priorities and realize that Weston is almost a year old (when did that happen) and Beckham is 3 yrs old and he will be going to preK in August, am I wasting my last precious months of having his full attention on things that I feel I must do instead of allowing myself to enjoy my time as a Mom.
I have to step back and look at where the pressure I feel to be perfect is coming from? I realized that it is not coming from my husband or my kids, or most importantly God. It was coming from me and who I "thought" I was supposed to be, not who I am called to be. It is absolutely exhausting and joy robbing to spend all my time running around comparing myself to other Moms and feeling like I have to measure up to them. Eric and I recently attended a conference for church planter's called Velocity and there was a
"wives" track that had encouraging workshops for the wives attending the conference. In one of the sessions I heard a quote that goes something like this, (I can't find my notes where I wrote it down)
Comparing yourself to someone's PUBLIC life can cause you to feel Inadequate
This statement carries 2 truths for me:
#1. People do not have it together as much as we think they do, we all want to put our best foot forward when we walk out of the house or when we go to Church (ouch again) But just because someone looks like they have it all together & their life is perfect does not mean that it is, no one is perfect
#2. Trying to be perfect all the time not only hurts me but can hurt others :(
So cut yourself some slack & stop putting unrealistic expectations on yourself, and be okay with the seasons life brings -- your kiddos will not always be little so instead of driving yourself crazy to get it all done, enjoy the journey and encourage someone else you know by letting them know you don't have it all together either.
My dear friend, & fellow momma, Kate, shared a very encouraging blog about being yourself -
check it out here: Called Out One
This concept has been a bit of a struggle for me over the past 3 years, basically ever since I made the transition from working full time to being a stay at home Mom. I admit most of it comes from my
own insecurities. When I was working, I knew my Job, I was trained in my field & I had a certain amount of control over things. But once I entered Motherhood I felt like all my confidence flew out the window! I am of the opinion that no matter how many "what to expect when expecting" type books
you read, there are certain things you just have to figure out for your own and the only way you're
going to survive is to cut yourself some slack.
There will be days when you want to pull your hair out but that doesn't mean you don't love your children. There will be days when you leave the dishes in the sink and choose to sit on the couch & days when you can't possibly get it together and the idea of cooking dinner is overwhelming so you pop a frozen pizza in the oven instead, that doesn't make you a bad housekeeper. Now I'm not saying it okay to constantly slack off on your responsibilities. I'm just saying that its okay to just BE sometimes instead of constantly chasing after impossible expectations you've set for yourself, remember what's important.
I have recently come to the realization that all my running around trying to make everything perfect was robbing me of some precious time with my family. I had to stop and ask myself, "Kim what is more important right now doing the dishes or stopping and actively listening to what Beckham is trying to tell me?" Becks is a talker, in-fact at times Eric & I feel like he hasn't stopped talking all day! Unfortunately with the constant noise I found myself tuning it all out and missing out on some excellent opportunities to get to know my little boy by listening to what he has to say. I was constantly feeling like "I don't have time for this" But I had to stop and ask myself "who says?"
Who says right now I have to wash the dishes or fold the laundry, or check my facebook (ouch)
I had to evaluate my priorities and realize that Weston is almost a year old (when did that happen) and Beckham is 3 yrs old and he will be going to preK in August, am I wasting my last precious months of having his full attention on things that I feel I must do instead of allowing myself to enjoy my time as a Mom.
I have to step back and look at where the pressure I feel to be perfect is coming from? I realized that it is not coming from my husband or my kids, or most importantly God. It was coming from me and who I "thought" I was supposed to be, not who I am called to be. It is absolutely exhausting and joy robbing to spend all my time running around comparing myself to other Moms and feeling like I have to measure up to them. Eric and I recently attended a conference for church planter's called Velocity and there was a
"wives" track that had encouraging workshops for the wives attending the conference. In one of the sessions I heard a quote that goes something like this, (I can't find my notes where I wrote it down)
Comparing yourself to someone's PUBLIC life can cause you to feel Inadequate
This statement carries 2 truths for me:
#1. People do not have it together as much as we think they do, we all want to put our best foot forward when we walk out of the house or when we go to Church (ouch again) But just because someone looks like they have it all together & their life is perfect does not mean that it is, no one is perfect
#2. Trying to be perfect all the time not only hurts me but can hurt others :(
So cut yourself some slack & stop putting unrealistic expectations on yourself, and be okay with the seasons life brings -- your kiddos will not always be little so instead of driving yourself crazy to get it all done, enjoy the journey and encourage someone else you know by letting them know you don't have it all together either.
My dear friend, & fellow momma, Kate, shared a very encouraging blog about being yourself -
check it out here: Called Out One
When did you get so wise? :)
ReplyDeleteAt our ladies' retreat this weekend we heard this: "Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD' God doesn't call us to do everything. Our calling changes with the seasons of our lives. What season are you in? What is God calling you to do now? He doesn't call the equipped... He eqips the called. He will help you to do THAT well.
Kim, I happened to stumble upon this today from a link I saw on your FB account. I think I told you I blog, too, so I was interested in reading yours. Anyway, I LOVE this story. My kids are 3 and 1 now -- same age as yours were when you wrote this. Great read! The more "real" us Moms are, the better for all of us! I am glad I came across your story. Thanks!
ReplyDelete